The Beginning
by Rae325
Summary: It's not a happy ending, but a new beginning that Regina finds. Post-"Mother"


Regina is standing in the doorway of Henry's room and staring at him and Roland when Robin walks up behind her and wraps his arms loosely around her waist. It's tentative still, as if he's wondering what she is comfortable with right now. Regina pulls his arms tighter and leans back against his chest. This is happiness: her love finally back here with her and her beautiful son sleeping in his bed. Her baby boy, so full of light and love. Henry had immediately decided to take Roland under his wing, to read him comic books and watch cartoons until the younger boy was no longer confused and unsettled in the aftermath of the forgetting potion.

"Are you all right?" Robin asks quietly so that he won't wake the boys.

"I am," Regina replies, her hands running up and down the arms that encircle her. "Are you?"

"I will be. As long as you're willing to give us a chance, I will be fine."

Regina turns in Robin's arms, her hands coming to rest on his cheeks. "I am. And we will be just fine."

They spend another moment staring at their children before Regina takes Robin by the hand and leads them to her bedroom. "I can make up the guest room for you," she tells him, worrying her lip between her teeth. "If you'd feel more comfortable."

"I have dreamed of having you in my arms since the moment we parted. I want nothing more than that."

Regina smiles and nods at Robin, her throat tight. Robin's arms wrap around Regina, pull her close to him and make her feel so cherished.

"Can I ask you something?" Robin asks.

"Of course."

"In New York, when you said that Zelena and I would be tied together in a way you and I never could, what did you mean?"

"I can't carry a child."

"And you thought that would matter to me?" Robin frowns at Regina, seems upset at the idea that she would ever believe that. "We have those two beautiful boys sleeping across the hall. If we want to have more together we can always adopt."

It makes Regina smile. She knows he means it. He has always treated Henry as hers, and after two years of everyone questioning that fact, she doesn't take it for granted that Robin has always known that Regina is Henry's mother.

"Right now might not be the best time for that." Regina smiles at Robin, lets him know that it's all going to be all right, she's in this with him. And then, because it's been on her mind all day and despite what they've been through, Regina still finds it so easy to share her heart with Robin, she tells him, "I'm the reason I can't carry a child."

It's been nine weeks apart, but when Robin looks at Regina, it is as though nothing has changed. He looks at her with so much love and understanding, never with pity. Somehow sharing herself with Robin makes Regina feel so strong. "After Leopold died my mother wanted me to have a baby. I think she planned to murder me and raise my child so she could rule the kingdom. The idea of her anywhere near my child terrified me. I made a potion so that I would never be able to bear a child. I was so desperate. I needed her out of my life. She took so much from me, and still I let her control me for so long. I needed it to stop. "Tears are suddenly burning in Regina's eyes, and she looks at Robin, focuses on the love he has for her, on how he just listens and makes her feel strong and safe. "I don't even know if I was protecting that baby from her or me. My mother came back from Wonderland on the anniversary of killing Daniel. Seeing her reminded me of how worthless I felt, how little I believed I deserved love. I think deep down, I wanted to protect a child from having me as a mother. I was so afraid of hurting my child like she hurt me."

Robin squeezes Regina tighter in his arms, his eyes holding hers. "Tell me you know that you are nothing like her. You love Henry with your whole heart. You are an incredible mother."

Regina smiles weakly. "I've been destroying myself for so long. I picked up right where my mother left off; I ruined my life and so many other people's in the process." For a moment Regina is filled with the gnawing sense that she doesn't deserve this happiness, but then she thinks of Henry, her beautiful boy who she loves more than anything. "But from the moment I held Henry in my arms, I knew he was mine. I never imagined love like that existed, certainly not for me. I just knew I needed to do right by him and protect him and love him. There was no way not to love him. Henry changed me." Regina find herself really smiling then as she thinks of Henry and their life together. "No matter how he and I found our way to each other, all that matters is that I got to be _his_ mom."

Robin smiles at Regina, looks so proud of her. He brushes the hair back from her face, allows his hands to linger in her hair, his touches becoming more sure, less afraid that what they have has been damaged beyond repair. "You inspire me Regina Mills."

"Robin."

"I'm serious. You are so brave and you have such a beautiful heart. I wish I could take all the pain you've suffered away."

Regina smiles and the tears are welling in her eyes again. "You are. You make me so happy. I know things are complicated, but I believe that we can make this work. What Zelena did to you was a terrible violation, and I know you're in pain and that you're grieving for Marian. I am here for whatever you need, I promise. All I want is for us to move forward together."

"All I need is you and our children. I know that this baby will be a reminder, but…"

"No," Regina shakes her head, feeling suddenly so certain, "this child isn't to blame for anything. It's your baby Robin, and I will love it, I promise."

Robin's smile is wide enough to light up the whole room. Regina has missed that smile so much. "I know you will. I love you so much."

Regina's heart is pounding. Those words shouldn't make her terrified. It shouldn't terrify her to know that her soul mate loves her. It does. But she will not stand in her own way anymore. Robin is here with her, offering her the love she has always wanted, the love she feels for him, love that feels so consuming that she wonders if her chest can hold all the love in her life now.

"I love you too."

Before Regina can let the fear creep back in Robin is kissing her, his mouth warm against hers, his arms so tight.

They remain in each other's arms as Robin tells Regina, "This child that will be coming into our lives, he or she will be ours, if that's what you want. If we're going to be together and raise this baby together, you must know that I would never expect you to be any less its parent than I will be. It's your choice of course. I know you didn't ask for this."

"Neither did you, but that doesn't mean the baby won't be a gift. We will love him or her so much. We have each other and our messy little family. Big family," Regina corrects with a laugh. Her big complicated beautiful family. Hers to love. The happy ending she finally is letting herself build.

She kisses Robin. It's not an ending, but it is happiness.


End file.
